Something you should know about me is that I see all things as interconnected. In ways most don’t. I can be very esoteric. Keep this in mind as you read…..
From a metaphysical perspective, autoimmunity is about pushing back on authority… and since it’s “within the self” I have always related it to internal conflict. Dis-resonance.
The deeper I go into my spirituality, into utilizing my energetic gifts & understanding how both abundance & scarcity sneak into our lives through the small cracks we deem as insignificant, the more I realize how auto immunity is not just about “pushing back” on our own authority; it’s about the “disregard” of that authority. And the disregard of what many would call intuitive hits or guidance.
Autoimmunity, for me, shows me where the shadows are that need light to be shined on them. The largest of which for me is a fear of being seen in the expression of my highest & best self. What if my light is so bright that others may see their own as dim?…. That’s been the reason behind my many taken opportunities to dull down my talents/interests/innate skills and learned accomplishments alike. Behind the curtain, I’m still good at all these…I just avoid advertising it. I’ve never wanted to be a reason anyone could think less of themselves. I cannot take responsibility for others choices of perception though. This I know. And I realize this may sound as though I’ve got quite an ego… I don’t. There have certainly been times when I exuded an arrogance in regard to self… though I cannot say that arrogance was rooted in confidence. Because it wasn’t.
Nowadays, I have confidence in what I’m good at. I am comfortable knowing I am in my element supporting others. And I am comfortable setting the boundaries that ensure I have the energetic capacity to do so. What I’m still uncomfortable with is leaning into the life that career path might well provide. And so the business I created in order to support others and create a life of personal flow, is stagnant.
At a deep level, I connect entrepreneurship to the “starving artist” and “healers path”. Classic scarcity perception. Do what you love and you’ll never make a living. Untrue. There are actually examples that contradict this everywhere I look. Connections I’ve made in the past few years show me that doing what you love is actually the best path, the most abundant path to take…. The core belief was long since made though and it’s a shadow I must overcome. Would those “paths of scarcity” stop me from extending my healing support to others and self? No. I have a business that is rooted in energetic healing support that is not supplementing the income I make elsewhere. And I take time to provide healing support to me as well. Clearly, I’ll do what I love and what I’m good at regardless. Personal challenges of releasing limiting beliefs do not impede my ability to help others… it only limits me from growing a business where I can help more people.
And I’ve realized I also connected that an onslaught of abundance feels “unsafe” to my nervous system. Having had emotionally abusive relationships that began with “love-bombing” & initially led me to believe that “all my hopes were coming true”. when I recently was thinking on the life I desire to create, the move closer to family I look forward to, I found myself thinking of the abundance it will take to manifest it all & I heard myself reminding me of a quote I long ago heard..”beware the man who sweeps you off your feet because that’s the man who doesn’t want you stable”… Windfalls of blessings can feel like you are being swept off your feet…and my soul has the core belief that THAT is an unsafe space to stand in. Are you beginning to see the connection of auto immunity to scarcity and limitation?
So here I am, epiphanies pressing up against my heart, knowing that I’m being shown the signs that it’s time. Stop disregarding the voice within. Start showing the universe that I am bearing witness to the signs, hearing the whispers and respect them all enough to lean into the action they are pointing me to. When I do, clients will connect, my body will begin to un-learn that expansion is unsafe/unstable & the symptoms of autoimmunity will cease because the internal conflict will no longer be present. Fighting is not required where there is no war.
And as this may not be the truth of many; that aligned & resonate action will relieve physical dis-ease, and allow my business to launch and flourish and gift me the reward of supporting others as I am called to do…. it’s my truth.
What I challenge you to ponder is this…What do hear within your heart that you’re pretending not to? Where are you not honoring your intuition? What might you fear is behind the curtain of your dreams? And how might these be impacting you physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially?
Inner Calm 