Chronic illness is…..

Chronic illness has roots that are spiritually deep. I know this to be true for the profound lessons learned on my journey through it. The arranged marriage of sorts that has taken over a decade to find a rhythm of coexistence.

A brief history:

First there was a behavioral shift into dependence… on prescriptions and reactive resolutions.. all things external. Very codependent.

I was often forced into stillness. Pain does that. In stillness emerged the struggles of the Super Type A+…. the need to control, over-planning, over-committing, and I fought the stillness. But pain wins every time. So back to facing internal truths… was I able to find a connection between when the illness presented and what choices I was making in life at the time? Yes.

Thyroid issues showed up when I committed to a partner my whole body said no to. When you go against your internal wisdom, there are consequences. RA showed up when I fully disconnected from my self. I was over-worked in a hostile office where I was the target and in a yoga teaching training that “mean-girl-ed” me to outsider status.

It didn’t happen immediately but RA grounded me into my body. Meds were a bandaid but I began to educate myself about nutrition and learned to see the relation between food and body. Once I got that down, I began to notice how stress, unrest, upset negatively impacted my comfort. How flares lasted longer when I denied self. I saw how joy and peace and calm had a positive impact. Rest shortened the flares.

That led me to dive into all those topics… what do I reduce.. what do I enhance. When did this behavior begin? How am I to change the pattern? And that journey grounded me into my spirituality. Because you have to be open, and have faith that your answers will come. Faith in the mis-steps. Faith in your own evolution.

If you are walking the journey of auto immunity, know that it’s okay to find those initial bandaids but know that bandaids are meant to be removed. Look to connect with your body and give it rest. Change habits to support that body connection and allow yourself space to breathe. You will evolve into better health.. into inner calm.